The Other Woman

I'm technically still married. My soon to be ex husband is currently seeing someone (and has been for almost 2 months). I was hurt and angry when I found out. For the most part, I don't really care about her. I almost feel sorry for her. In time, I'm sure she will have her heart broken by The Ex.

What makes me mad about her, is that she feels that The Ex is being too nice to me. (If she thinks what he's been is nice, she's in for a rude awakening.) She's gone out of her way to stalk me on the Internet (hence, private, anonymous blog), in order to cause an argument between The Ex and myself. She's looked at pictures of my family on my other blog. She's looked at pictures of my baby, pictures of my daughter, and pictures of when The Ex and I were together. It's almost as if she's trying to see what kind of life we had. On her Facebook page she talks about how much she loves The Ex, and that he's what she's been looking for all her life. They do things that we use to do together. And according to The Ex, she's a way better person than I am. (Yeah, but she's dating a married man. Um, hello?) The Ex has made it seem like she's the love of his life. He's interested in doing things "the right way" with her. Unlike how he knocked me up, the first time we slept together. (Sounds so vulgar, I know.) He wants to have sex with her (so I'm guessing), but with me he never wanted to. (I can count on both hands the times we had sex during our 2 year marriage.) He always had a reason. Let me list them for you. -I was pregnant. -I was fat. -I wasn't on birth control. -He didn't have any desire. -He was tired. -He had to get up early. -I wasn't affectionate enough, so why would he want to with someone who wasn't affectionate with him during the day? Instead he watched porn on a regular basis. I guess he didn't need me when he had my computer to fulfill his needs. But with her, he's attracted to her. (That he did tell me.) With me, he just talked about loosing weight. He's actually lost weight for her. He reads the Bible with her. With me, he blamed me if we didn't read it together. Why didn't I bring it up, was his excuse. It's almost as if he's a different person with her than he was with me.

At first it was hard for me to not compare myself to this other woman, and how much better she is than me. Then, I looked at our similarities. We both drive the same kind of car. Our first initials of our first names are the same. Our birthdays are one month apart, as far as the day is concerned. We both are (were) attracted to an addict.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!!!

So now, let's change our perspective on this situation. Here's the good (for me) about their relationship.
-She pursued him, which means she's always going to be into him more than he is her. (Wait, that sounds sick and wrong.)
-I'm at least 10 years younger than her.
-I'm not in love with a married man.
-I was at least somewhat healthy enough of a person to see that being with him was unhealthy.
-She, too, is a victim of a alcoholic/drug user. She may not see it now, but it'll happen. (Not really a good point for me, but more of a reality. Can you say co-dependent?)
-Did I mention that I'm 10 years younger than her?

I guess I needed to talk about this because I know the day is coming soon when I will be meeting her. I'm not trying to say that I'm better than her. Instead, I'm saying that I don't buy into the fact that I'm all the mean things that The Ex has said I am. They may very well stay together for 50 years, who knows. His mom may like her more than she has ever liked me. That's fine. But just because this may happen, this doesn't mean that I was the bad person. It doesn't mean that I'm so unkind or full of hate, that The Ex couldn't stand me.

It just means that I was able to get out, and that's all that matters.