Giving In?

I think the reason why I dread pick up and drop off so often is because The Ex tends to make it difficult for me. He uses this time to ask me questions or to talk to me about things. I think he knows that he has me trapped, and that I'm not going to just throw the baby at him and run.

Today was no different.

It started off with a text at 7:26am. This is the text:
Can we do 9 to 1 instead. Church will be running late again today. That means i will be late again

I have a couple of thoughts about this. First off, how does he know that church is going to run late? Secondly, he's admitting that he was late before. See, he even said that he will be late again. AGAIN! So I was right when I said yesterday that he's been late before, he even admitted it to me this morning. Ha!

I sent him a text back telling him that the baby had a party to go to at 12. I told him I would just pick up the baby at his church at 12.

I get the baby ready, and we head over to our meeting spot. One he gets there, The Ex asks me if he can get the baby on Sunday's from 9-1 instead (the court papers say 8-12). I told him that the baby naps around 11 or 12. So, if I get him back at 12, then I can take him home and put him down for a nap. I told him that his weekends are all screwed up. He sleeps at odd times then he's up late, and that's too hard for us all. So, if this is going to be a problem, then I'll just drive to his church and pick him up. The Ex started asking if I was going to always be on that side of town. I told him no, but I need him to nap, so I'll just pick him up. Of course he was fine with that. That is, me wasting my gas. After that, he starts to complain. He feels that it's not fair that he has him during his nap time. He thinks that he's missing out on time with him because he's sleeping. Boo-hoo. He's told me a couple weeks ago that he doesn't always watch him when he has the baby. He said that sometimes he's playing with his girlfriend's sons. So, um, now he's complaining that the baby is sleeping during his time. WTF Ever. I told him that I understood what he's saying (we were both calm and not really fighting), but that the baby needed his naps. I said, "I'm sorry, but he needs to sleep. He's a baby, he needs his naps." The Ex kept asking if I could see where he was coming from. I said, "Yes, but I don't have an answer for you." He said, "Of course you don't, it's my problem, not yours." Not sure if he was being sarcastic or not, but it sure sounded like he was. I didn't reply to that. Then he asked if he had the baby next Sunday because it was Father's Day. I told him yes, and that the court papers say he gets him from 8-3. I asked him if he wanted him that long. Then he asked me if we could be flexible. I was thinking, "Flexible? He'll have him all day, what's there to be flexible about?" But I didn't say that. What I said was, "You don't want him for that long?" He just said, "Well, what if we do dinner or something?" (Why doesn't he just do lunch? PLAN AROUND THE TIMES YOU HAVE THE BABY ASSHOLE!) Then he just said, "I'll just bring him back at 3." With that I got in my car and drove off. I headed to the gym to work through some of my feelings about all of this.

Some thoughts:

Am I being too much of a bitch by not being flexible with the times? I mean I could switch the times from 9-1. I was flexible with my daughter's father when we separated...Sort of. In thinking back we kept to a schedule pretty often. The only time we switched was when there was a party or when his or my work hours changed. Scratch that for an example. Also, there are 2 church services The Ex could go to. His church is at 9, and then at 10:40. So, why can't he go to the earlier one to get the baby back to me on time? Right? (I'm not telling him that though. It's not any of my business when he goes to church.) However, in my rationalizing me staying firm on my times, that's how I think about it. So what if his church gets out when it does. He could choose to go earlier. Since he doesn't, then I have to drive to get the baby back on time. I'm the one using more gas, but I'm keeping the times consistent, and to me, that's more important. Is this fair to me? Probably not. Am I being bitchy by standing my ground? No. While at the gym I came to the conclusion that I'll just go to church on that side of town myself, and then hang out there till it's time to pick him up. It's a win/win situation. Yes, maybe I could be a little more flexible, but not right now. I'll be flexible in the future. For now, The Ex needs to start to be consistent. The only thing that's consistent about this man is that he's not consistent. If I have to train him until he understands that, then fine.

The hardest part about this is not feeling guilty for doing so.