Grrrrrr

Today I had a conversation with The Ex. (While dropping off the baby.) I actually started to argue with him. After I left I had to remember what I learned while at the therapist today. So, I called him and apologized for arguing with him. I said that I had forgotten to just keep it about the baby. He then proceeded to talk to me for 20 minutes telling me how mad he was.

There was this blog post that my friend posted a while back. She posted on my blog and he didn't like it. He didn't like how she lashed out at him, and how I just let her. So he was mad about that. He was tired of me talking shit about him. Oh, and he also said that he didn't throw me out of MY HOUSE. He said he asked me to leave, and that I could have said no. Well, he's right, I could have said no, but he knows me and he knows that I wouldn't have said no. So, yet again, this whole thing is my fault. Then he said it was mutual. Then he said that towards the end he wanted me to stay, and that I wanted to go. What the fuck ever, make up your mind douchebag! Man, he sure does know how to piss me off. And, I started it! All I did was call to apologize for fighting with him and he had to unload all his feelings on me. UGH! Why do I do this to myself? I can't win with that guy. He said at one point we should talk about where we went wrong. Why? I have no need for that. All it's going to turn into is a big fighting match. I have no desire to do that. None. I know where we went wrong. We got married. I should have never married a man who had/has addiction problems. And I don't care if he thinks all I do is talk about him. Yes, I guess that makes me bad in his eyes. But you know what? I don't give a damn. Yes, I know I played a part in the relationship. I know I had my faults. But faults that were so bad that he had to treat me like shit? Probably not. I think that we just were never right for one another. He believes in conspiracy theories. I do not. He's conservative. I'm liberal. I can drink without having to go to AA. He belongs to AA. I like to have sex with other people. He likes to have sex with himself, while looking at porn. Okay, so that's not so bad, except for when he chooses to masturbate instead of being intimate with me.

Oooooh, if he could read this he'd be pissed. But guess what? It's the truth. Oh, and he said he was doing me a favor and not unloading all his anger on me. Don't do me any favors asshole.


Blllllaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deep Breath.