I need to keep my mouth shut. Don't say anything Ms. Doe (I almost inserted my real name), don't say a word.
I'm pretty sure The Ex has been spending the night at his girlfriend's house. I'm also pretty sure he's going to tonight as well. He said that he'll be going over there in the morning, really early (lie) so I'm going to be meeting closer to her house, than our usual spot for drop off. All I want to do is tell him that I know that he's staying the night at her house. Ooooh, I just want him to know that I know. BUT...This is where I need to remember to take the emotion out. It's sooooo hard. I just know that he'll soon be living with her, and I'd better prepare myself for this. He's such a hypocrite. Ugh.
Then he tells me tonight that his girlfriend's boys are always playing with the baby, and that he's not always watching him. Uh, what an idiot to tell me that! But, it hurts also. Some lady's boys are playing with MY son. MY SON! What if they're punks? Thy youngest is 10 or 11. Then the other 2 are teenagers. What the hell are boys that old doing playing with a 19 month old? And WHY does this bother me so much?! The reason I know this is because I called to ask him if he's been playing football around the baby, because the baby has been pretending the "hike" a football. I thought maybe this was something he taught him. He then says that it was probably his girlfriend's boys. Ooooh, that got under my skin. But guess what? I have no one to blame but myself. I guess I justified it because I was asking about the baby, not asking about him.
How dumb of me! UGH!
Good luck tomorrow. I would say to be on the phone with someone when you drop the baby off, so you can avoid the temptation of word vomit. I know it is hard not to call him on his lies, in the long run it is better for you if you do. All he does is come back 10 times more hateful. And nothing is good in him wallowing in hate.
ReplyDeleteI think the thing you need to ask yourself before you ever talk to him is, "do i absolutely need to know this about baby?" And for me, the only 3 things i would need to know is, where am I picking up baby, where am I dropping off baby, did he hurt himself whilst with ladouche. Everything else I can bite my tongue on. You will know instantly if he hasn't had a nap, hasn't been changed and hasn't been fed. And ladouche will just lie about this anyways so no point in asking him. I totally get how hard this is, but so far, no conversation with him has been helpful, so I don't think it will start now.
Obviously he is a lousy parent, and she sounds like a real peach. Of course it is hurtful and bothersome that he is hooking up with nosey mcwhore when your divorce is not even final. you also hate that there is another woman in baby's life. your pain is justified, but nothing is served by engaging him. call me if you need to be busy tomorrow during dropoff. i'm the one your having gnocchi with tomrrow.