I would first like to apologize for all of the anger that I have expressed on this blog. I guess The Ex would consider that yes, I am, in fact, a hateful person.
Fine. Whatever. To you, Mr. I say, "GO TO FUCKING HELL!"
Today's drop off left me angry.
My son was happy to see his father, like he usually is. The first thing out of The Ex's mouth was to complain about the marks on the baby. Yeah, so he wrote on himself today. He got into his sister's bag that she had brought home from school. I didn't know it had markers in it. I didn't see him write on himself. I didn't even notice he had the markers until he started writing on the wall. Oops. So we cleaned up the wall together, and went on our way. I'm not as concerned about the marks on his legs, they always wash off. (Yes, he's done this before.) I normally keep the markers up, but like I said, I didn't know there were markers in the bag he had. I also didn't know he would have emptied the contents of the bag. I guess I was giving him more credit than I should have.
Anyway...The Ex saw the baby and his marked up legs, and rolled his eyes. He said, "Is he doing this to himself, or is Sister?" I said that he was. Then I also said it was washable. He rolled his eyes again, and made a "hump" sound.
I was still holding the bag of diapers and clothes, so I couldn't just walk off yet. (In the future, I'm not sticking around though. I'll drop the bag by the car and leave.) He then said to me, "Are you going to have concerns about me asking for over night visits with the baby next year?"
Me-"I'm not worried about what's going to happen next year. It's too far into the future." (By the way, that's a lie, I'm a bit worried, but he doesn't need to know.)
Him-"You can foresee if you're going to have a problem with it or not."
Me-"What difference does it make if I do?"
He then got an attitude because I guess my statement was in a snotty tone. He said, "You don't have to make this difficult. I'm just asking."
Me-"I don't see any point in worrying what's going to happen a year from now."
Him-"You just answered my question." He then turned his back to me and put the baby in the car. That pissed me off. So I went around him and told the baby bye and that I would see him at 7:30.
UGH! He makes me so mad! At first I was mad at myself for saying anything to him at all. But then I was mad at him because my last statement wasn't meaning that I will be worried about him getting over nights in the future. It was meaning that in general, it doesn't do me any good to worry that far into the future. This just boils down to him being DUMB! Seriously. Anyway, I'm not worried about him getting the baby over night. I know it will be difficult for the baby, and I kind of hope it is so The Ex will have a rough time sleeping. (insert eebil laugh) No, what I'm worried about is him asking to have the baby %50 of the time. That I don't feel he deserves. Not to mention, I've never been a fan of that for the kids. I just don't see how it can be beneficial. Maybe if both parents communicated, but we don't. He still doesn't ask about the baby. No text messages about the baby. No calls. No emails saying, "Hey, how was our son's day?" Nope, nothing. He could care less. He may seem like he wants more time with the baby, but in reality, I think it's just to hurt me. He's even admitted to me that he doesn't always watch the baby when he's with him. Um, hello?
But through all of this.....What makes me most mad is the ugly look on his face. He looked like he was mad at me. Him mad at me?! I'm sorry, but he has no reason to be mad at me. What have I done? I don't answer him right away when he asks me a question? I tell him that I'm not going to worry about the future. Is that upsetting to him? What the hell have I done to piss him off? I demanded to know where he takes our son. Ooooh, bad concerned mom. You should have seen him. He looked pissed off. It's almost as if I could see the ugliness of his insides. He talks about me being filled with hate, I have a feeling he's got more hate inside of him than I do. And I'm justified! (Well, maybe for now.) ;) He talks about how his "program" doesn't "allow" him to be angry. Ha! He's got himself fooled. If he thinks that he's gotten over whatever anger he's had towards me, he truly is delusional. It was so clear to see on his face today.
And you know what? Good. I hope it eats him up inside.
(Yes, I know, I'm mean.)
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